Prison Porridge for Julian Assange

So the British cops have finally got around to arresting international man of mystery Julian Assange. This is the worst result for the enemies of the Wikileaks’ founder. While he waited patiently in seclusion (that’s not the same as hiding), the forces arrayed against him could claim that he was a guilty fugitive, a transnational terrorist, a bestial rapist etc, etc. Now they have to prove their case. How inconvenient!

Now the full silliness of the Swedish rape case will be plain for all to see. The Swedish prosecutor, Marianne Ny, will have to subject her witnesses to the harsh light of day. It should be great fun to watch her try to persuade a jury that a broken condom constitutes rape. Or that a refusal to wear one during consensual sex at all is also rape.

 I suggest that Assange prepare a multi-billion dollar suit against condom makers Ansell for placing him in such peril. I tip that Ansell’s next line of dingers for Sweden will be made of cast-iron and feature rivets, rather than ribs.

 Every condom will come with a reserve chute in case of unexpected breakages. What happened to the carefree sex of Scandinavia that Xaveria Hollander used to bang on about in “The Happy Hooker”? Ok she was Dutch, but you get the point.

Without trivialising the very serious crime of rape, this is a stupid, pointless abuse of process. It will fail for the same reason that the pursuit of randy footballers boinking groupies usually fails here in Australia. Police have to build a case that relies not on sex without consent, but the withdrawal of that consent.

Even if things turn nasty, proving when the fun stopped and the coercion began is nearly impossible when there are just two in the bed. 

Marianne Ny claims this is not about Wikileaks but Assange’s personal conduct. It’s just a coincidence that among the 250 000 diplomatic US State Department cables  there was one suggesting that Sweden was operating as a covert member of NATO.

Prime Minister Julia Gillard continues to toady to the US maintaining her line that Assange was grossly irresponsible. No-one seems to pinpoint what law he’s broken, beyond revealing the duplicity of international relations. When politicians start saying they have to enact new laws to arrest people it’s time to be very afraid.  

He has embarrassed people. That’s it and that’s all. He has highlighted the failure of diplomats and politicians to find lasting peace and stability during the longest economic boom in world history.

He hasn’t even begun on the failure of the international community to stop the Global Financial Crisis by taking action against the cowboy bankers and coke-addled screen jockeys of the finance industry.  Apparently that’s next in a document dump from Bank of America. I can hardly wait.

 Assange has revealed how self-interest and jingoism have triumphed over the desires of ordinary people to get on with their lives without being blown up or shot at because of arguments they neither understand nor participate in. Wikileaks is a window into that sick, sleazy pragmatic world. I’d say give him the Nobel Peace Prize but look at the mass murderers and thieves who have won it in the past – former US Secretary of State Dr Henry Kissinger for instance, a war criminal in any other era.      

And as for The Age’s revelations, via Wikileaks, that former PM Kevin Rudd is an egomaniac and a control freak etc, well that’s hardly news. Those unpleasant traits were the reason why Julia Gillard helped form the lynching party for poor old Kevin.

This post is in response to Shelly’s urging that I need to stay on this. What do you think? If you like this, don’t forget to subscribe. It’s free and wholesome, full of nutty goodness.

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21 thoughts on “Prison Porridge for Julian Assange

  1. So he’s a creepy crusader in dire need of a makeover and a PR Team. He’s exactly how I would have expected a nerdy geek who has hit the big time to appear, who was Kate Reardon expecting, David Hasselhoff? She apparently hints at Assanges’ deeper faults, I’m confused, I couldn’t see anything past the surface there and nor could she. She may be more pleased with the look of his hair after a few months in prison and a couple of buzz cuts.
    I’m really enjoying your take on this saga though and I hope to read more. Cheers.

  2. Adam like your article and hope you stay with this story. The reaction of the American and European pollies is woeful but the reaction on the home front is an absolute disgrace – hope the Libs hammer Gillard and McLellan’s lack of perspective for all it’s worth. Let the light shine in – at worst WL is only publishing material put together by nongs in the diplomatic service, leaked by their own members.

  3. Keep us up to date with your perspective on this, since it doesn’t look like it’s going to go away soon. Are we forever going to be the US’s puppy dog?
    And as for creepy, our Julian (like our Elle or our Nicole) is kinda hot I think, in a William Hurt kind of way.
    My 11 year old told me yesterday that he heard Assange had raped someone. it was really hard to have to explain to him that it was no coincidence that he was being accused of these things. I’ve never wanted to explain that sometimes rape claims are manufactured.
    Or that if you choose to exercise freedom, without breaking the law, your country will shut its gates to you, democracy or not.
    This whole episode is from the Dark Ages just with computers attached.

    • It’s ok to be a moderately successful investigative reporter, they won’t like you but they will tolerate the nuisance. But these are the insiders becoming whistleblowers. The thin white inmate is taking the heat for them as a good reporter should.

      • I think Julian and his Wikileads is going to keep us uncomfortably entertained, busy and embarrassed for quite some time.
        Thanks Tanya, I’d never thought of how awkward it might be trying to explain this situation to a child and to answer the direct questions that are sure to come.

  4. PS Do you think they get porridge in Swedish prisons? I gather the conditions aren’t too bad. For a man with no bank account, it might be good for a little time off.

  5. I enjoy reading your articles, though not nearly enough pictures of naked chicks. I’m on the fence with wikileaks. On the one hand, a blissfully unaware public is getting the truth, albiet at the risk of destabising the existing structure. On the other hand, I whinge about the exixting structure trying to control the masses. Is the alternative better? The ‘existing structure’, being the people that control government, (yes they exist).

    • The existing structure will survive Ben. It’s merely embarrassing. What’s happened is that insiders have been asked to keep too many secrets on behalf of greedy selfish politicians. This may be the end of a few political careers but the material is not top secret, mostly classified. Used tea bags get classified in Washington, there’s way too much secrecy. Under Bush they did so much nasty shit that the Yanks act guilty and secretive even when they are not doing anything wrong.
      Ben, I think where Wikileaks is going wrong is not having more naked chicks, or in fact any. No centrefold, it’s pathetic. Julian’s head with his dodgy dye job is starting to irk me. Maybe Larry Flynt can look after the shop while Julian’s in the nick.

      • The preoccupation with Julian’s hair is starting to irk me and maybe Adam you could change your pic to a big breasted bikini clad chick straddling a motorbike, or something else for a more few hits, maybe even a pic of Larry Flynt :=)
        Cheers!

  6. Too funny Shelly, I just fell about laughing when I got Ben’s message last night which began with:
    “I enjoy reading your articles, though not nearly enough pictures of naked chicks.”
    It’s back to serious mode now, not getting my moobs out for anyone, not even you!

  7. Let’s summarize some opinions: ‘Espionage’, ‘freedom of press’, ‘destabilizing the existing structure’, ‘US Congress’, ‘Bank Interest Rates falling, ‘rape’ , ‘broken condoms’, ‘leaks in the diplomatic service’, ‘outcry from Gillard’etc etc. The comedic chase and consequent arrest of Aspergerish Assange (the ‘creepy unit’),is now bordering on tiresome. He is nothing more than the conduit of leaked information – isn’t that what a lot of journalist alredy do? Having world press focus on the commissioning of his undoubtedly contrived sex offences and then sanctioning his eforts within WL as some sort of unctious pioneer amuses me no end! Come on, historically this story is nothing new (refer your comments on Bush adminsitration as just one example)! That it is digressing to naked centrefolds, exposure of Adams moobs, explaining rape to an 11 year old etc reveals the mediocrity of the story. World Wide events reveal far more scandalous, immoral, cruel and inhumane injustices. It’s not a story that needs much more comment.

    • Well Sandy, that’s a lot of comment for something that needs no more! It”s an unfolding feast that requires much more discussion as the courses are served. Stick around for the indigestion!

  8. Let’s not summarize and tidy it up just yet, the whole affair won’t allow it and the only thing I’d like to see less comment about is Julians’ hair.

    • PS. your Africa article is a point in case. It was beautifully written, touching on the degradation, disparity and injustice the country and its citizens (black and white)have endured; trying to evoke optimism (economic, spiritual and emotional)as the nation tries to rebuild stability. It received just one comment. My ignorance prevented it from receiving two.

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